In a gentle way, you can shake the world - Gandi

Friday, February 4, 2011

Day Eleven: Happy Pills

The pills seem defective - that or it's not me at all; it's the relationship I'm in driving me freakin' crazy and pills are defenseless.

I took my daily dose and even gave in to an afternoon dose of Xanax when the intensity of our drama became too much to handle.

I have to wonder - am I taking the pills to balance an emotional imbalance or am I taking the pills to survive?

Sometimes we can pit ourselves against each other so fiercely that the lines are drawn like an electric fence - no one gets out and no one gets in. I'm sitting here in the thick of it right now so I'm not capable of a distanced perspective - I need rest and space and I long for my clear mind but I'm giving this a month...one month.

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