Honesty

Because if I am being honest, I am still healing...I'm not quite at a place where I am unaffected by the mention of her name, where I venture outside my apartment unguarded because the thought of running into her is light years from my mind, where certain songs are merely songs again ... instead, they are laden with memories, triggers - they can stop my breath and my body and they can grip my mind with a force that could reverse the orbit of the planets.

If I'm being honest...I long for the day when she doesn't consume my mind...and if I'm being honest, I am more at peace in the wake of her than I ever was in the company of her.

If I'm being honest - the detox is almost complete.


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The Fog Lifts

An afternoon spread with my friends and a movie...

Since her departure from my life, I have learned to live again...with zeal and wonder and a heart of lightness.

It's been over a month and during that time I have connected with old friends and made new friends, reconnected with my children and my self, my family and my job, my passions and my purpose.

I felt stunted by her - I allowed myself to be stunted...I allowed so much that I would have never let anyone else get away with...how did I allow her? It was almost imperceptible.

I am so happy as I move back into me, as I open myself, ever so slowly, to that which is waiting, to that which beckons, to that which tugs on the strings of my heart and my soul...longing for an answer.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone